I'm Mandy, a mother of a handsome handful of a toddler. I'm the wife to a relocated Jersey boy at heart for almost five years. I'm a "youngster" in "Corporate Legal America." I'm one-seventh of a dynamically loud and loving family. I'm a woman with newly-diagnosed hypothyroidism, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome and Metabolic Syndrome trying to find a course of treatment that works. I'm a twenty-something trying to find her way on a journey to discover faith, friends and fitness. Most importantly, I'm me. I'm just trying to figure out who that is exactly...

Thursday, September 30, 2010

My Forever Road...

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. . .And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

Photo taken by Roob Photography.
On February 11, 2006 those words were spoken on one of the greatest days of my life. I knew that I was marrying my best friend and that in front of our friends, family, and God that we vowed to be one. I, quite honestly, have not understood the true meaning of those words until just recently.

Life isn’t perfect. It’s a rollercoaster. There are ups, downs, twists, turns, and bumps along the way. Our relationship has proven to be the same way. We heard that we would never last, and that the terms of our courting had set up our doom.

At the beginning of 2009, I was beginning to determine if those who did not believe in us were correct. There was no passion. No sense of belonging. No sense of that deep love we felt for each other. Did we move too fast? Did we skip key points of our relationship? Could I really spend the rest of my life loving this one man? Had I truly missed out on dating and was he the soul mate I said he was?

I know the same doubts were going through his head. Mistakes were made on both parts in an attempt to find ourselves. A lot of these mistakes were made on our parts to intentionally hurt the other person and to get back at them for making us feel the way we did. I know that I have not been innocent in our summer of “candy-coated demise.” Instead of trying to mend what was stretching and tearing apart my heart, my past, my future, I was trying to get that sense of belonging and being wanted in other places.

Before jumping to conclusions, there was no adultery committed in the physical sense. But in the mental sense, we were both to blame. But yet, we were putting the blame on the other. Instead of being there for him, I tried to get back at him. We were told about a book from a movie. We both put our hearts into the Love Dare, but not fully. It was when I found the book from the movie, Fireproof, and read it that I was changed. He then read the book. We watched the movie. We hashed out everything that happened.

And all the wrongs were forgotten. We rejoiced in the truth. We realized that we hadn’t protected or trusted. It was when we did that, with the help of hope, that our love persevered the hardest thing we had ever done. We didn’t give up on each other when it was the easiest thing to do. Many of our vices and temptations are gone now. We now know that there is no greater friend and no greater truth than in our spouse. We realize that mistakes are just that. Mistakes. Disposable.
Or so I thought.  Christmas Eve 2009 was one of the worst days of my life.  Prepared to give him a copy of the new Love Dare book, I found out that things had not changed for one of us.  The actions he was partaking in the past had reared their ugly head not even a month after our heart to heart.  For the first time in our marriage, I was fully ready to give up.  Take the ring, move out, but I get the child.  I spoke those words as I threw the book at him.
"Love is a shelter in a raging storm
Love is peace in the middle of a war
And if we try to leave,
may God send angels to guard the door
No, love is not a fight
but it's something worth fighting for.”

You could have cut the tension with a knife.
Photo taken on Christmas Day 2009 by my father.
I'd like to think that those actions, along with long talks with our pastor and my father brought him to the light.  It's as if a switch has been turned on and he is a new man.  2010 has been a true blessing to our love and devotion.  Love is worth fighting for, if you have the right person to fight for.

Let me take this moment to say this. Blake, I now understand the true meaning of love. You have given me that. I fall more in love with you each day. You have given me the most amazing gift of your love and I am eternally grateful. I eagerly anticipate our life together, but I now realize that each and every moment must be cherished. I thank God for seeing us through the difficult times, and for helping us pave the forever road to our Happily Ever After.

"Don’t worry baby,
I ain’t no maybe.
Rain or shine,
this love of mine is for you
Let my arms remind you that
I’ll always be beside you
holdin’ on until this ride is through.
So away we go, down that forever road"

Photo taken by ShawnaMarie Photography


1 comment:

  1. I'm glad to see things have turned out for the best! :) It's nice to know that even in our darkest hour we can come back into the light. Together.